broke

yeah..that's my state now..

i'm broke..

i don't have even a single penny in my name and
for the love of god, sure as fire wouldn't know
what to do if something comes up..
i mean, i'm really in serious trouble..

i couldn't ask nor take the little money my parents
have. they need it more than i do. i don't know
if god/fate/destiny is punishing me now. putting me in
this kind of situation. maybe haven't been good enough?
maybe i pissed them off big time.

*sigh*

"some people don't know what they have
until they lost it.."

i always knew what i have..
i just didn't think i'd lose it.
i've been bummed..


i'm still looking for a job and really, i am really trying
but i can't seem to find even one..

*sigh*

in my situation now, i think i'll take any job offered
out there as long as it is decent. i dunno what them
employers see in me. when i sit for the final interview
for some unknown bizarre reason they always reject me.

why won't they give me a chance?! i mean i'm not a snotty
person..? i learn quickly and am very willing to learn..?
i'm not even bitter to criticisms so why not me..?

i'm tired..

i really am tired..

i'm not the kind of person that gives up easily but
anyone would tire out eventually. i am forced/back-up
in this situation that i can't comprehend into.

i have a family to feed. my parents, they don't have
anybody else to support them. all they have is me.

i can't think no more.
i want to stop but i can't.

i don't normally admit weakness.
i don't even normally ask for help
from anybody or anyone for that matter but this time,
even just for this time only, i just wanted to say
these things..

i want to breathe.
i need help.

somebody..