irony and a blister...

ironic isn't it..once you step inside the halls of a company
to apply for a position you'll begin to notice stuff..

i was sitting in on of the many chairs in a waiting area
inside a i-will-not-name-company when another applicant
comes in with a man or a woman or both. the applicant
stands on the side line while the man or woman she/he's with
would shake hands with the company's current employees
(usually the HR present) stating this words (well more or less)

"hello how are you?! *insert award winning grin here*
this is *insert the by stander/applicant name*
my *insert relationship*. i trust you to take care of
her/him *insert another award winner smile/grin here*."

so basically just from that you can already tell whose gonna make
it or not. it sucks but you just cant help it. so you'll just smile in resignation
all in all. even if you don't succumb right away after a minute or two
you'll eventually give in anyway.

thats life.

it sucks..


i was walking home after that contemplating how much i spent that
day. thinking i should have spent it on food or anything more worth while
rather than transportation fare but it cannot be helped anymore.

its done.

and it doesn't at all help that i was sporting a blister on my left foot
because of the shoes i'm wearing. when i got home and change, i
sat at my bed and looked at the said blister and i thought i saw it
sneer and begun to taunt me. .!

its like saying something along the lines of
"ha! see! its fruitless you should have stayed
here in the first place. *insert sinister laughter here
in a form of throbbing pain* it was never ment
for you and now you have me here. *throb*
and i'm here to remind you of it! *throb throb* "

i poked my blister then with my finger..

it hurt like hell.

i laid back on my bed and looked at the ceiling to
ask my self and anybody out there that hears what the hell
happened to my life..? i mean i thought, no scratch that,
i know my capabilities and my weakness and all the other
shit so why am i experiencing this right now?

am i really incompetent?

are my past perception of my self and my
accomplishments all a lie?

is this really happing to me???

no further use there with that blister pain

this is REALLY happening..

*sigh*


can i just sleep for a hundred years and not age?
i mean just sleep and then wake up after to find myself in a
science lab not remembering anything but sleeping soundly..?
how i wish...