steady

yesterday after the graduation pictorial
i got home and found my self yet alone..

my parents both went out again so i can't do anything
and i don't have anything to do at the moment either
so eaten by boredom i begun to randomly browse the net..

checked my mail..
update things..
idle...

then i came across a series in japanese..

the usual happened..
i watched the series..

hey i have time to kill and
i want to kill time..

the story is about four seventeen years old friends
[guys] who are all a bit good looking
and yet for some reason they are the ones with out "affairs"
going on their lives..

as all seventeens they are at their "character seeking" age..

constant peer pressure..
parental eye shadow..
sex..
stuff..

the story progressed on going about this factors..

after watching, i find their story's moral is quite simple..

that is there is no hurry on growing up..
it cannot be forced..
cannot be assumed..

everything happens at its due time no matter
where you are or who you are.

it will present it self to you.

it may took various forms and even various approaches
and no matter what you do or weather you like it or not;
if its there, its there. its only up to you how to respond to it
and how to use it for your self adding to your growth..

and sometimes those things that you think
ain't matters at all, are the most thing that matters.

you'll just wake up and realized one day that you have
grown up. so it's best just to dwell on what you are now
and be at ease with it..

after realizing the message that show conveys,
it made me think about my life too..

i'm 21 now and yet i find my life a bit "uneventful"
and often times i pray for some change that never
seemed to happen..
then i thought,

"yeah! your so right! what the hell?!? why not?"

i think what's important is that you know what's
right and what's wrong. if you're just honest enough
to your feelings, and do thing that make you feel
good and worth while then everything will work
out just fine..

i've decided..

i'll just sit back and enjoy my ride..

self

"there is no privacy that cannot be penetrated...
...no secret that can't be kept in a civilized world...
...society is a master wall where everyone hides his true character,
and also reveals it by hiding.."

-ralph waldo emerson