a story

there is man standing at the side of the road
gazing upwards towards the sky.

the sky is pouring like crazy but the old man
doesn't seem to notice it...

a girl holding an umbrella is about to pass
the same road with the old man beside it.
as she is walking, she notice another man walking.

the other man is walking on the opposite direction.
the other man passes the old man first.
the other man looks at the old man, nods his head and walks his way.
the old man looked at the man that just passed by and smiled
then looked again upward towards the sky.

the girl that notice the exchange goes up to the old man.
the girl looks at the old man then hands her umbrella to him.

the old man looked the girl, smiled, gave his thanks,
gets the umbrella and walks away.

the girl then takes the place of the old man on the side walk,
and then looks up at the sky.

thoughts:
the rain is the only thing for her right now.
standing outside is cold but she stands still
for the rain is the only thing that connects this earth
to the eternal sky...

dreaming:
standing still, outside the rain
there is no problem outside
she can wait.
because she's thinking if she's standing there still
maybe another one will pass by, to offer her a smile
and an umbrella to get by..

pantomime

In my fantasy I’m a pantomime
I’ll just move my hands and everyone sees what I mean
Words are too messy
And it’s way past time
To hand in my mouth

Paint my face white and try to
Reinvent the sea
One wave at a time
Speak without my voice and see the world by candlelight

I ain’t afraid to let it out
I’m unafraid to take that fall
But I have found beyond all doubt
We say more by saying nothing at all

In my fantasy no such thing as time
Minutes bleed into days
Avant garde art
Show me your heresy
And I’ll show you mine
We only speak in pantomimes on this carpet ride

I ain’t afraid to let it out
I’m unafraid to take that fall
But I have found beyond all doubt
We say more by saying nothing at all

In my fantasy you look good entwined
In my hair and skin and spit and sweat and spilled red wine
You’re my deep secret
I’m your pantomime
I’ll just move my hands
I promise you’ll see what I mean


--i'm generally and utterly confused...honestly what is happening
now in my life is something i have never dreamed of entirely
and i dunno what to do anymore..
i can't choose that person...
i simply cannot even if it kills me, it is for reasons that
i can't even discuss here but i sure wish to god that
this should not be happening to me right now.
i mean this situation but alas,
mine eyes and ears might deceive me but not my heart and mind.

i do want to be a pantomime..
listening to this song helps and sucks at the same time..
i'm thinking...
if i be a pantomime, will it be easier or will i be maimed much faster??