Monday, September 18, 2006

pagpapakamatay

You scored as Suicide. Your death will be suicide. What more can I say? Fact: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you want to know hwo you will commit suicide, take a look at your second highest percentage on the bar graphs.

Suicide


73%

Suffocated


60%

Gunshot


53%

Stabbed


53%

Disease


53%

Accident


47%

Drowning


47%

Posion


40%

Disappear


40%

Natural Causes


27%

Bomb


27%

Eaten


20%

Cut Throat


13%

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com



i have a very high tendency to commit suicide..

i didn't know that..? i just took the test..
i really didn't think of my self as the "suicidal" type..?
or am i wrong..?

i wonder...

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

tactless

i have been always open about my life.
the only thing is, i don't mess
the people involve within it. normaly when
i have a particular problem about a friend
i consult another friend that doesn't
know or doesn't have any relation to
the person in question..

maybe i'm afraid of confrontations...
misconceptions..
consequences...

so when i have a problem with a friend
round my place, i seek advice from
another friend...

...from another place...

...(sigh)...

there is something going on between me
and a friend of mine...

i haven't told anyone anything from
the group that we share...

(ok i have told one of them
but that person already knows "the story"
long before i've told him...because "he"
(the one i have a problem with)
told "him" (the person i told)
already "in not so many words"..)

until last night when tragedy struck..

i know he won't tell no one about it
and neither did i, but a "friend" claims
she got the scoop about us directly from
me...!

me! who haven't told nobody else..!

i know he (person i told too) won't
open his mouth..

he's far to respectful of things...
he ows me, big time...

the friend i have a problem with
won't tell a soul too because
he hates this things more than i do..

doesn't make any sense eh..?

i felt numb...
cold...
...

she's a bit tactless...
(scoop girl)
i can't afford the possibilities...
i just can't...

if word spreads, it would appear like
i'm some fustrated bitch or something..?
i don't want for him, or them
to think of me that way...

(if you happen to know me personally,
dear reader, you would know what i mean...)

i'm just not the type...

....(Sigh)....

if i go talk to him, whould i appear to be
so defensive..?

guilty..?

on the other hand if i don't, what would
he think of me? gossiping around...?
some cheap girl i don't really appear to be?

i really hate this things...
i makes my head hurt and i can't think straight..

...crap...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

the foolish traveler

all three of my best friends and i love to watch anime...

best jin - anime that has "power" stuff.intelligent plot;
not necessarily"action" oriented..

best arik - watch all stuff that's made
unto anime/animation excluding "love stories"..

best mai - anything that strucks her fancy..
love stories, action..she loves those specialythe "guys"...

one of these anime of hers in called
"fruit's basket"


...a family (mostly guys) cursed with the zodiac. if one is born on the
year of the cat (for example, a guy) and an opposite sex (girl)
hugs him, he turns into a cat..

...fur and all...

i watched an episode once and liked it..
that episode has this story told byone of the
charcters that turns into a hare...

i hope i recounted it correctly as i understand it..

"the foolish traveler"
once upon a time there is a traveler
who traveled all his life. one day he came upon a village,
he came up on one of the villagers who saw nothing but
the traveler's wealth. the villager then took advantage
of the traveler; he told him that he was so poor and in
need of shoes. the traveler took pity on him and give him his shoes.
another villager, saw the exchange, came up the
traveler too and told him that her daughter is dying.
the traveler gave her his gold. as he walked around town,
more and more people approch him for help,
not noticing the murmurs they pass each other,

"what a foolish traveler. he didn't notice that everybody is tricking him."

until he suddenly noticed all his money and clothes
are gone including the ones he's wearing. abate with shame for not
wearing anything, the traveler has gone to the woods. as he travels
deeper he encountered some forest beast. one of them told him that
he's been starving for days. the traveler, out of pity, gave him
one of his legs. as he go deeper still, he encounters more forest beast,
losing a toe, or another until all he has left is his head and he
encounters another one.

"mr. traveler please, i'm so hungry, give me your left eye."
one of the beast said."here, take it."
as the traveler gave the beast his left eye and watch with his right
how the beast chew it, the beast gave him a piece of paper as he walked
pass him laughing saying "thanks".. written on the paper is the word

"fool"

upon reading, the traveler wept and laugh...

"thank you. thank you." he kept on saying.
"this is the first time i have ever received a gift from another!
thank you. thank you. this has made me so happy!" he said.
it was then told that the traveler died that way.
in tears with a smile on his face..

....as the story ends, the character (hare guy) asked this
question and left this words to his cusins whom he recounted
the story too..and i'll ask you the same...

is the traveler a fool as people see him?
or he's just another soul in search of another?

sometimes we tend to over look the things we
see, hear and feel...and judge another for doing the things they do
that we simply couln't..
and we just wouldn't understand..

for me, that traveler was never a fool. it's never foolish to do the things that
ones heart desires and if in that action one shows
pupose and fulfillment in life and makes him happy
then i envy him for i never had the courage to do the same in mine.

is the traveler a fool?
or should i change the title of the story...?

Friday, September 08, 2006

chika

i have a good friend..

he's funny..
he loves things..
we're close..

i think he's about to court another friend..
she's nice..ayaw ko ng gulo sa tropahan..

i have a theory about him.. were good friends so i told him my theory..
his life..
his views..
his actions..

"uy!unli.ka mamaya may chiak ako sau.."
"cge!"

that's it..
i told him my theory..
i think he just realized it too..

sabi nia na"enlighten" daw cya sa sinabi ko..
tama daw ako..anak ng pitong kuba! d ko sadyang i'tap ung sarili niya!
hula lang ung tingin ko tama!

gumawa ata ako ng gulo ng hindi sinasadya..

because of what i've said, i gave him a relatively new way of seeing himself..

his actions..
his decisions..
his life..

i killed another girl's dream..
gusto ko lang tumulong para makaiwas sa gulo..
i've broken a heart...

...she does didn't know it yet...

slash

ida sent me a sms saying that faust is in trouble..
i didn't know how far that was until i saw the "slash"

"yehn hind to rhetorical..mananakit ako.."
faust said..

"yehn d ko cya makita.."
ida's sms said..

1..2..3 hours later..

"ahhhhh!" my sms tone ringed..

"nakita ko na cya..punta kame dyan.."
ida's new sms said..

"cge"
i told them the directions to my place..

an hour later they arrived..

ida is carrying a bag of cookies and a liter of fresh milk..
faust standing behind her..

i stood stuck still..
i screamed..
i cried..

faust chopped his hair off..

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

the mircle of lasagna!

my own vesion of spinach lasagna!

(makes two 8x8 inch. round pan
each pan good for 5-6 sevings!)

ingredients:

1 can delmonte spinach in water
drained, the extra water squeezed out
set aside.
1/2 kilo ground pork
9 pieces lasagana sheets
cooked per package directions
cut in half set aside.
2 pouches spaghetti sauce
1 can delmonte spaghetti-meat sauce
5 pieces eggs
2 cups grated cheese, set aside seperately
1 mid.onion, sliced
4 gloves garlic, crushed
2 table spoons oil
dried basil leaves
dried rosemary
salt and peper to taste

procedure:

saute garlic and onion in oil
put in a dash of rosemary and basil
add the pork, salt and peper to taste.
cook, set aside in a bowl..
in another bowlbeat the eggs, add the spinach
1 cup of the cheese, a dash of salt
and peper to taste then mixed them together..
mixed together the spaghetti souces in a bowl..
coat the base of the pan with the sauce,
place the lasagna sheet (approx.3 sheets)
put half of the spinach mixture, top with
another set of the lasagna, then the sauce,
half of the pork mixture and again the lasagna.
cover the top with suace and half cup of the grated cheese.
repeat the procedure to the other pan.
place in the oven, uncovered for about 30 mins.

cause and effect II

we got our caramel frap.from the barista at starbucks..
(nilibre kame ni faust! yeah!)
talked a little..
planned on going to my place the next time.
we got up, decided to go home then tragedy struck..

"so sa wed.nlng s bhay?"

"oo"

"cge sama ako..!"

"cge!oi!umaambon ba?"

"oo nga.."

the rain fell faster, we have a little umbrella to
cover us three. the umbrella collapsed..
we ran back at convergy's..

"kasalanan ko to..galit saken ang langit"

"adik ka ba?" i took out my oxygen supply..

"i didn't know you..nafustrate ka dahil saken..sori."

"wala ka kinalaman dito ano ka ba? ida d ka pa uuwi?"

ida is laughing the whole time.

"hindi antayin kita umuwi."

"naufustrate ka..huhuhu.." faust cried..

"adik.. d nga kulet mu ah..?"

we stared at the rain for some time.
the cars on the parking lot, come and go..

"potek ang mga naka kotse! potek!"

"nagagalit ang langit saken..nafustrate ka..
i'm causing great destruction."
faust keep on saying..

"di nga..saya kaya nung kanina?
d ikaw k? gusto ku lng umuwi kc si mama medjo out of sorts..
yaw mu nun?atleast nature is aknowledging you.."

he stopped whinning..gone silent..ida and i talked..

we waited..
5..10..15..20 mins.
the rain slowed..

mircle of the fx taxi!

"uwi na tlga ako.."
"adik ka magastos yan!" ida said.
"ah basta!sa wed.lang..see you! thanks!"

i got in..got home after about eternity..
the traffic is in humanely possible..
nevertheless i got home..
cold..
i should have take that coffee drip instead..
oh well libre siya kaya i'm thankful..

cause and effect I

last monday i've gone to my friend's place
(faust) just to see him. he said that ida
and kuya dy will be coming over to play cards
so i might as well come, crash in although i don't
play cards.

i got there first. i raided his books in search
of new stuff to borrow when ida came in along
with a jug o melon-milk
(yes the fresh milk that is incidentaly colored orange)
and a batch of cookies.

we talked..
laughed..
exchange intimate facts about each other..
(we end up playing that card game in which
a player ask this questions in the card and the
others must answer)
and then they played that game..

VAMPIRE

whatever!?! wala ako alam dun kya un..

after a min.or two i begun sketching at faust's
sketch pad.
i got bored..
kuya dy didn't came...
i wrote faust a letter and post if in his tag board
just above his bedspace along the side of rai's
grad.letter to him...

i took some pictures..
i looked at some too..
i stopped moving..
breathing..

after 3 hours (of hearing them playing,
tutoring each other, saying stuff i don't see
in my vocabulary..ok i can see it in mine but that's
beside the point..!d ako nag lalaro!)
they finished "the game"...

i find my self breathing again..

*TADUM-TADUM*

they talked some more..
issues..
problems..
my mind wonder..

"5 na uwi na tayo"

"ok sige, jere ung kwento ko un na.."

"lakad tayo! punta kila dy!"

"ha?!layo!"

"starbucks?!?"

"cge!!"

"anything to detain yehn!"

we walked the "walked" to the other gate..
the bridge..
convergys! at last!